6 Strategies for Raising an ADHD Child as an ADHD Parent

ADHD has been known to run in families. Parents with ADHD have additional, unique hurdles when their child or children also have ADHD. Sometimes your own symptoms can interfere when you’re trying to do what’s best for your child.
 
The good news is you also have a window into what they’re going through—an insight that parents without ADHD don’t have. You must also understand the differences between your child’s ADHD and your own to find the strategies that work for both of you.
 
This might seem a scary prospect. You’re already working every day to stay on top of your own symptoms, and now you have to help your child do it, too. But don’t fret. You’re not alone.
 
Remember: being a good parent doesn’t mean putting your child first 100% of the time. You’ve got to feel good to be the best parent you can be.
 
Here are some strategies for both parents and children with ADHD:
 
1. Get Creative
Use your child’s natural creativity (and your own) to brainstorm fun ways to stay organized. This is a great way to teach kids what it means to be held accountable for their responsibilities.  For example, you might challenge your child to keep a white board up-to-date with chores, appointments, and activities—color-coding each one.
 
2. Stay Consistent Together
Consistency is an important point of emphasis for both adults and children with ADHD. Cut back on your child’s stress by having a transparent, consistent schedule. While they’re doing their homework, you should find an activity that can have a parallel schedule—like catching up on your email.  Sitting at the kitchen table working for a few hours each night at the same time will remove some of the anxiety of homework and other tasks, especially when you’re in it together. You might even dedicate that time to projects you can’t find time for during the workday.

3. Don’t Judge
You shouldn’t criticize your child for displaying symptoms of ADHD, and you certainly shouldn’t judge them. Instead, calmly address the behavior, explain the consequences, and make healthy suggestions for how things can change in the future.  Guess what?  You can do the same for yourself.  By practicing this non-judgmental patient approach with your child, it may become easier to do for yourself.

4. Keep It Simple
Trying to multi-task can be particularly risky and unproductive for adults and children with ADHD.  Give one direction at a time to your child to avoid making them feel overwhelmed or confused.  Apply that same tactic to yourself by addressing one problem at a time and not trying to handle everything at once.

5. Rely on Your Partner
If you have a parenting partner who doesn’t have ADHD, it’s okay to rely on them for certain things. Figure out which part of parenting with ADHD is hardest for you and split the difference.  Maybe your partner hates driving to after school activities, but is much better at getting up in the morning and getting your child ready for school. Even adults without ADHD have strengths and weaknesses. Ask your partner to help you play to your strengths!

6. Don’t Be Afraid to Get Help
If you don’t have a partner or you need more help, there are always more resources you can reach out to. There’s no stigma attached to getting extra help with parenting, tutoring, or childcare in general.
If giving yourself a few hours on a Saturday afternoon helps you be a better parent, you’re doing both you and your child a service.  When you feel the time is right, you might consider letting your child know how much you understand what they’re going through and why. Children are often much more perceptive than we recognize and children with ADHD can be particularly sensitive to your behaviors.
 
Many adults with ADHD make remarkable parents. Just remember to take care of yourself and cut down everyday challenges by working as a team.
​
Your adult ADHD diagnosis means that day-to-day tasks that seem simple to others can be daunting, but there’s no reason to despair. With knowledge and counseling, your symptoms are manageable. To learn more about strategies for tackling the symptoms of adult ADHD, contact me at Cloud Counseling today.