ADHD & DEFICIENT EMOTIONAL SELF-REGULATION (DESR): CARING TOO MUCH (OR NOT ENOUGH)

As a person with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), you may suddenly become extremely happy or enthused. As a result, others are likely to find you interesting and engaging. Your frequent bursts of strong emotion, however, can also cause problems.
 
For example, you might agree to an exciting yet time-consuming project without understanding how it will impact your energy or make you feel overwhelmed. Perhaps you get caught up enjoying happy hour or competitively playing a game for hours—neglecting other responsibilities.  There are short-term and long-term obstacles posed by getting caught up in emotions.
 
You may also have spurts of excitement, anger, frustration or impatience that are out of proportion to the everyday events that trigger them. Such responses can undermine your progress in managing your ADHD.
 
These symptoms are known as Deficient Emotional Self-Regulation (DESR). It’s important to note that not everyone with adult ADHD has DESR, but studies find that DESR is much more common among adults with ADHD—in one study, about half of ADHD adults reported DESR symptoms. 
 
While many people have trouble regulating their emotions when they are under unusual strain or stress, having DESR means that you may not be able to tone down your emotional reactions—even when you’re not “maxed out.”
 
Some examples of DESR behaviors are:

• Revealing too much personal information when you’re in a professional setting
• Saying something that you later regret
• Quitting a job on impulse without thinking through the matter
• Hurting a friend’s feelings by acting without considering his or her perspective
• Buying something you don’t need at the store while forgetting to buy what you do need

 
While DESR may manifest in different behaviors, it’s just as manageable as ADHD.
 
Five Ways for You to Stop and Smell the Roses 
Now that you know something about DESR, you can learn to apply the brakes before you run roughshod over the garden...

1. Don’t Put Too Much on Your Plate
You may have many interests, but becoming too busy can turn your passions into sources of stress. You may have to graciously bow out of some commitments before you feel overwhelmed.

2.  Jog—Don’t Run Yourself Ragged
Exercise is a great stress reliever. Even a quick set of push-ups or sit-ups or a brisk walk around the block can clear your head and help you put things in perspective.

3. Plan Ahead
Think of a plan for how to respond to a situation that you know could evoke strong feelings. Envision ways you could react to different things the other person might do, along with outcomes you hope to achieve. Review your plan right before you go into the challenging situation and keep it in mind during your interaction. You may wish to carry a few written reminder notes.

4. Feel—Don’t Necessarily Act
Although it's easier said than done, you can train yourself to notice feelings before it’s too late. Mindfulness training can teach you how to observe your impulses without acting on them.

 5.  Time Out!
If you are tempted to blow up, it's better to walk away. Ten seconds may be enough to help you calm down and regain your composure. If you are feeling angry at someone you know, explain to him or her that a break will help you collect your thoughts and lead to a better outcome for both of you.
  
Your adult ADHD diagnosis means that day-to-day tasks that seem simple to others can be daunting, but there’s no reason to despair. With knowledge and counseling, your symptoms are manageable. To learn more about strategies for tackling the symptoms of adult ADHD, contact Cloud Counseling today.